Okay, sometimes it is. Like anything, we’re all different. I know some women who squirt have to go through a lengthy process in order to prepare for squirting and, as such, charge for it as a service. I have absolutely no issue with that. But I just want to have a little whinge for a moment about my very first world problem. And it really is. It’s not a big deal, but it’s been frustrating me lately so I’m going to get it off my chest!
The fact that squirting is considered a ‘service’ in the sex industry creates two issues for me. The first is just another in the millions of examples of legislation being out of touch with the sex industry. There are states in Australia where it is illegal to advertise what specific services you provide. This is the case in Victoria, where I have just completed a tour. Scarlet Blue automatically edits your interstate listings in accordance with the various laws (which is bloody brilliant, by the way. Thankyou SB!), meaning my Melbourne profile shows no mention of squirting and even the word ‘wet’ is censored. If I were to advertise elsewhere, it would be against the law for me to say that I am a squirter. Now, the vast majority of my clients book me BECAUSE I squirt. Many have been researching me for some time. So there I was yesterday, in Melbourne, with a new client. He starts going down on me. In my experience, if a client does that it means he wants squirt on his face. In my personal life I warn all partners that I squirt, because I know it isn’t very common and not everyone will be comfortable with it. At work however, it’s often the whole reason the client is there. So, back to this guy (who was lovely, BTW). I came, and I squirted on his face. He looked shocked and said ‘well I wasn’t expecting that!’ I was MORTIFIED. I just ejaculated on a person’s face without their consent. That’s not okay. Turned out that he liked it, so that’s good, but not everyone does (trust me, there are some men who don’t - we’ll get to that later). So the result is me going on a bit of a rant on my flight back to Sydney because the Victorian government thinks that my orgasms are a service and that the public needs to be shielded from knowing they exist.
The other thing is just a personal complaint more than anything. Lately I’ve had a few people book me and ask me not to squirt.
The problem here is that I have absolutely no control over it. It’s just what my body does. When I orgasm, 99 times out of 100 I squirt. Sometimes a LOT. If you make me orgasm, I will probably squirt. Now it’s very easy to make me orgasm - you might not even be trying to make it happen. If you put your penis inside me... chances are it’ll just happen (I can’t guarantee that of course, but it seems to be a trend). I know we are living in the age of ‘I’m offended’, but when I am asked if I can just ‘leave that part out’, it kind of hurts. I’m being told ‘yeah if you could just not orgasm, that’d make my sexual experience a lot better thanks’ and ‘it kind of grosses me out when you experience pleasure’. No one expects a man to not ejaculate. Now I understand not everyone is comfortable with squirting. That’s completely cool! But just... don’t have sex with squirters then. It’s like how I don’t want to eat meat so... I don’t. There’s lots of other things out there I can eat instead. Just like there’s lots of other pussy out there you can eat. I’ve sampled quite a few of them, I can even recommend my favourites if you like.
Basically, long story short, please don't book me if you are not comfortable with female ejaculation. Don't worry about me - there are plenty of people out there who love it and will happily provide me with pleasure instead!
Now do NOT get me started on the UK banning female ejaculation in porn...